Too be honest, I have always been finding myself. When I was younger I was born in church. After enduring some horrible things at home, I was forced to reconsider my faith and who I was. I was also unwilling exposed to sex at a young age and there I was again, forced to find myself. As a child I was told that I was fat and sometimes treated differently and treated as I amounted to nothing, and once again I was forced to find myself.
As I grew older things seemed to get harder. My mom was a single parent and lost her job. It brought out a side of her that I never seen before. Things happened in that house that still break my heart to this day and once again I was forced to find another piece of me. In middle school, I was almost raped and in high school I was. I did not think that I could find myself after that situation. Especially after the guy I was talking to did not belive that someone raped me and decided that he waned nothing to do with me. For a long time I could not pick up the pieces and find myself. I was so damaged and broken that there was no way I could put myself back together again. But some how I managed.
You would think that after all that I had went through, that the rollercoaster I called life would come to a stop; but it did not. Some where along the way I fell in love with an amazing guy who helped me put myself back together again correctly because I was doing it so wrong all these years. But I was forced to make a decision that changed everything about me and I had to find myself once more.
I am being brutally honest here because this is who I am. I have struggled and re-invented myself more times than I can count. The reason behind my natural journey is more than wanting to be closer to my roots. It was my way of starting fresh with everything. I cannot change my past and I cannot change who I was, but I am in control of who I will become. Part of my journey is embracing everthing good, bad and ugly about me. It is about me coping, dealing and healing. In the past, I was forced to transform myself, but this transformation, this reinvention is a decision of my own.
I guess you can say that there is more to my story and curls. But right now, I am just trying to be