I have lost. I have lost in ways that words can’t capture and songs cannot soothe. I have felt loss bigger than nations and governments who have stumbled and crumbled from war or starvation or at the hands of their own leader. I have lost something so precious and pure and rare that diamonds nor rubies can compare. A loss so permanent that only those before me could empathize and sympathize. They understand a loss that leaves you without a sense of self. That threatens your entire existence and struggles to cope with what you endured. I have lost and I have felt lost and I know loss. It overcomes me and at times it swallows me whole and I’m forced to acknowledge my neighbor sorrow. Sorrow holds and clings to loss. It knows that I’m lost and sorrow is the only feeling that won’t let me forget you.
I wish there were more words coming out on this keyboard but I feel as if I have lost my voice. That you took my passion with you. Or maybe I am so deeply involved with sorrow that nothing lets me forget you but I forget everything else. Either way, I have lost something that sparks my inspiration. I have a thousand drafts and topics but no words. Nothing sounds right. It’s like I composed an entire piece but there’s one single note off and it ruins the entire piece. I’m lost. I miss you and even now these words don’t sit right with me.