I hear you, you know. And although I’ve never seen you, I can picture you. I can picture the sadness that has taken over your beautiful face. Bruises where your skin used to be and a smile that ain’t quite like it used to be.
I’ve never heard you cry though. I’ve heard the screaming and yelling. The doors slamming. The blows and the silence, but never crying. Maybe that parts broken. Maybe your tear-ducts gave up after the first three times. Statistics say it takes a woman….. times to finally get the courage to leave. I know it’s not as simple as that, but maybe your tears are waiting for your release. Waiting to be tears of silent relief.
I listen out you know. So much so that the silence haunts me with past bellows. I worry you know. That one day I won’t hear a peep from you and I’ll have to deal with the fact that he got the best of you. That my attempts at helping might have harmed you. That the first time we meet, you’ll be surrounded by uniformed bodies laying at their feet.
I’m waiting you know. For you to interrupt my day and ask for help in any kind of way. For my home to become your sanctuary. For your fears to finally gain enough strength. For your sorrow to finally reached its limit. For you to finally accept that life can be lived without him and that time won’t change him.
I understand, I do. Sometimes you get so wrapped up in someone, that it’s hard to differentiate which limb is whose and by then you’ve lost yourself completely in them that you forget. You lower yourself to let them shine. You hide yourself to let them be seen and you make excuses because it’s just a rough patch that you guys will get over, because who are you without him, because he’s just going through things, because he loves you so much he just doesn’t know how to show it, because he just gets really jealous, because he just doesn’t know other ways to express himself, because who are you without him, because who are you without him, because who are you without him. Wait, who are you without him?
Just in case you feel alone, I’m hear you know.